We in India love living with double standards where what is good for us is not good for children. That is the reason that more children are addicted to these sites without understanding consequences. We behave more like an ostrich that ducks every time we are faced with a question that we feel is not appropriate for the kids to ask. At least 70% of the parents I have met want to be friends with their children on FB just to keep a track on them. Tell me who would like being stalked by their parents?

Social media sites present risks and benefits to children but parents who try to secretly monitor their kids’ activities online are wasting their time, according to a presentation at the 119th Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association.

Below I have compiled information for parents about social networking sites: what they are and how they are accessed, potential dangers to be aware of and how to protect your child while they visit such websites.

Privacy                                                                            

Privacy is always a concern for any communication exchange carried out online and children often do not understand the risks involved in giving out too much personal information on the Internet. This is of particular concern when this information is given to an individual who your child does not know personally; they may argue that someone is an online ‘friend’ but for all intents and purposes that person is a stranger. To many children the online world isn’t the same as the real world and they can often behave in a way they would never do face to face leaving them much more vulnerable. They may also be less protective of personal details such as their mobile number or address, which could have undesirable implications for them.

Cyber-bullying

Unfortunately some users can harness social networking sites to carry out ‘cyber-bullying’ where malicious comments are posted online about an individual and/or that user receives abusive messages. Some tech-savvy users may even be able to hack into another user’s account to harass them so it’s important that your child is aware of these dangers and understands they must be reported as soon as possible.

Cyber-stalking

Another risk is that of cyber-stalking, or harassment on the Internet.

Age-inappropriate content

The Internet provides access to all kinds of content– but not all of that content is suitable for children to see. While you may have the appropriate parental controls set up on your computer, your child may still be able to access inappropriate material if someone in their social networking circle makes it available to them.

Online grooming

The most distressing threat to a young person’s safety on social networking sites is that of online grooming. Sadly the possibilities for anonymity that the Internet offers means that paedophiles use social networking sites and chat rooms to befriend children and teenagers, gaining their trust online with a view to then making actual physical contact with that child. By using highly deceptive means, i.e. pretending they are the same age as the child they are communicating with, they will find out information about that.

Identity theft

Identity theft isn’t limited to adults and now that more children are using the Internet regularly they are becoming vulnerable to this crime. The naive posting of personal details on your child’s social networking profile leaves them open to online identity theft so it’s absolutely vital your child never gives out personal details in any online context.

Emotional implications

In addition to the above it’s worth considering how your child may be impacted emotionally by frequent usage of social networking sites. Some experts have warned that sites such as Facebook can have a negative effect on children who are less confident, as they can equate their happiness and success as individuals with how many friends they have on Facebook.

There are also concerns that young people are substituting their online relationships for physical ones, by spending more time in front of the computer than they do in the real world.

My serious advice to parents is setting some ground rules on home internet usage, and showing some interest and understanding of your child’s online activities, you’ll be helping to ensure their online experiences are as safe and happy as possible.

Communication is the crux of parenting. You need to talk to your kids, or rather, listen to them. The ratio of parent listen to parent talk should be at least five-to-one. Talk one minute and listen for five.

Mrs. Shalini Nambiar

Dy Director Education

GEMS Education