Recent instances of gross violations of child rights have shocked the nation and raised questions of safety of our children in homes, schools and public places. Parents are shaken up by the enormity of the crime and the sickening frequency with which these instances are increasingly being reported across the country. If you are an adult in charge of a child, you would do well to observe the following:

• While admitting to a school or extra-curricular activities, satisfy yourself about its reputation, surroundings, safety and hygienic conditions by personally visiting the place and inspect it for lighting, ventilation, CCTV installations, secure toilets, etc.
• Ensure that the institution has kept relevant details about the staff in charge of the child.
• Avoid closed door sessions for one -to -one instruction such as tuition or music classes at home or in the institution.
• If your child is commuting by a school van, insist that there are female attenders in the van and ensure that your child is dropped and picked up safely.
• If the child is hesitant to go to any place, try and find the reason for his/her reluctance.
• If the child is uncomfortable about an adult or peer, accept those feelings and do not force the child to associate closely with the person.
• Keep a tab on an adult who tries to befriend your child and is paying an unusual amount of attention to him/her
• Tell the child we need to respect every part of our bodies and take care of it. Equip the child with words for different parts of the body without associating any shame. Do not be embarrassed to talk about the body. Let the child know that every part of the body has a name as well as the function it serves. Be clear about body rules and personal space.
• Educate your child about ‘good and bad’ touch. Instinctively children can sense the difference; we only need to supply the words to the child to report the same. Any intrusion into a child’s personal space should be resisted by the child by shouting for help and trying to escape and this is to be reported to a parent or teacher at the earliest. These include inappropriate touch of lips, chest, buttocks and genitals.
• Many times abusers offer chocolates and bribes, threaten the child with dire consequences, emotionally manipulate, threaten to expose the ‘secret’ and tell the child it is his fault making it difficult for the child to report. If there is a change in behavior, the child is withdrawn, has sudden anger outbursts and crying spells, wants to be alone, attempts self-harm, has nightmares, is eating and sleeping poorly, shows lack of interest in studies and other activities, is distracted, listless, anxious and fearful – these could be symptoms that the child is distressed about something.
• Know where your child is at all times, whom s/he is with, and what activity is going on. Be involved in the child’s life.
• Do not employ household staff and caretakers such as drivers and helpers without a background check and enquiring with their previous employers.
• Keep a photograph and address proof of all your support staff.
• Do not leave your child at home alone and know who the people who visit your home are.
• Any suspicious bruises, marks, bleeding and pain should be investigated.
• Spend at least 10 to 15 minutes daily of relaxed and shared time with your child, devoid of structured activities such as preparing and eating meals, grooming, getting ready to school, homework, etc. Be accessible, communicate with your child and listen to your child’s accounts of the day attentively. This is the best time for the child to confide in you if s/he is in trouble.

It is very important to believe in your child whenever he or she reports abuse in any form. If your child has been a victim, reassure the child that the abuse can stop and emphatically tell the child that he or she is not at fault. Remember, children do not forget abuse and if overlooked may affect their personality lifelong in many adverse ways. We should have zero tolerance of child abuse. However, frequently as it is a person who is known to the child the reporting becomes difficult, but by not doing so you are encouraging the abuser and condoning a very serious crime. Along with medical and legal recourse, do not hesitate to take the child to a child mental health professional to ensure that the scars do not last permanently. This blog was first published on Linkedin.