In today’s competitive world, most of us have fallen prey to some habits that are terrible for our kids. Can our love and commitment make it tough for our children to grow up with the essential skills they need for success? Here are a few things we may be doing wrong:

It’s all taken care of!

Often we do just about everything for our children, from feeding and cleaning them, to even thinking for them! Result—children grow up in a world where everything is sorted, from their bed, their school work to even getting clean! Their world is somewhat on auto mode!

Taking on responsibility is a crucial skill. We cannot expect our kids to take on responsibility easily later on in life, if they have not as kids.  Responsibility is a habit built over time.

Give your children more responsibility. Start with simple things – put away toys, carry school bags, and do little chores around the house. Help them resolve their homework on their own. Let them make some tiny decisions on their own as this empowers them. Help them grow to be more independent, confident and decisive.

Homework help

Outsource homework? Yes, many of us are guilty of doing this. Why else would there be stationary shops that sell readymade projects that can be submitted at schools?! Some go further and hire professionals to help with a project to make it the best in class – a parent I know even hired a sound artist!

Wow! Do we not realize how pointless this is? What is the child gaining from giving in work that is not hers? What values are we inculcating? How can we blatantly cheat with homework and not expect them to cheat elsewhere?

Projects are designed to help children gain a deeper understanding of a subject. If done well, they improve the retention of a concept. Work together and gain from the interaction.

Tutors – the quick fix

Tutors seem to be the order of the day. When I ask parents ‘why?’ The answers I get are quite interesting. Many say they need homework done. Some don’t really know, but do it because other parents do it! Some just want to help their child catch up at school.

When we hire a tutor we must analyze the “why” more carefully. The first two reasons are the wrong reasons. We must ensure our children don’t use tutors as crutches as it is painful to remove them later on. If it is for catching up, it is essential to understand their reasons for falling back. Plugging in tutors without understanding the problem is like taking a medicine without understanding the disease.

Giving in

We live in a world where there are many “I wants”. Often parents give in too quickly. Controlling the “I want” urge is essential. Our children need to learn to work towards certain objectives, and think about the world around them. If they easily get what they want, all the time, we kill their ability to aim for a goal and make them self-centered.

Turn them towards charity and stop giving in. Build compassion, as this also has a huge positive impact on a child’s self-esteem, while reducing their “I want” impulse.

I would like to end this article with a quote by Anthony Douglas Williams that I think is apt:

“Spending time with children is more important that spending money.”