Today my blog is not about being a parent. I dedicate this to us parents being children too. My parents raised me with love. They did everything they could to make me a strong and loving woman. My mother often told me “Life is full of surprises, whatever you do, ensure you are able to stand on your own two feet”. My father, on the other hand, focused on love and integrity. “What is most important in life is that you are able to live with yourself. Do what you feel is right.”
I got married but remained connected to my parents. Sadly, however, we moved to the US and then the UK for work. We spent less time with our parents and work, career, buying a house etc. consumed our lives. The phone rang a little late one night. I was sweating before I picked it up. It was my mother. She told me my dad was detected with 4th stage cancer.
Does it always take terrible news for us to wake up? My whole life replayed before my eyes as I desperately tried to consume the news. I realized that there is nothing more important at that point of time. Had I spent enough time with him? Do I have enough time left with him? I could not think of anything other than being with my father. I rushed back.
Papa had a successful operation and recovered, since he had a will to live and see his grandchildren. My brother and I who had focused more on our careers decided to have children, and I travelled often to India. When his cancer came back, we moved back to be closer to him. We made choices that were driven by our hearts, but somehow they did not hurt our careers. God has a way of putting things right, or is it the fact that we saw life differently now?
When we open up our hearts and love and value the people around us, we are a lot happier. When we are happier, we are more creative and confident. Strangely that makes us better professionals too. We don’t need to give up one for the other we need to build a balance that ensures we continue to live. There is a joy in winning a deal, but there is a comfort in holding someone you love. We are truly complete when we have both. It takes two minutes to tell someone you care, but the good feeling stays on for a lot longer.
I loved my dad and miss him. I hope I am able to be even half that parent. But what I do not is I give love the first chance … and I am happier. My children are happier.
To my dad … a memory
I miss you dad,
Cause you’re not there
You guiding light
Love beyond compare
As a little child
You held my hand
Gave me the strength
To be the daughter I am
When you got sick
My life took a flip
I could not accept in my head
That the cancer had spread
Despite the pain
You did not give in
It was your amazing fight
That kept the family right
Five years have gone
Nothing can take your place
I miss you dad
But in my heart you reside.
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