Bullying is an abuse that is alarmingly on the rise, often with disastrous consequences for the victims. Statistics suggest that the majority of students will experience bullying at some point or other, in various forms.  Bullying can be physical, emotional, verbal or sexual in nature.  Bullying occurs in different forms such as threats, teasing, name calling, excluding, preventing others from going where they want or doing what they want, pushing, hitting, and all forms of physical violence.

School bullying may be more specifically defined as an unwelcome behavior involving school aged children that contains a real or perceived power imbalance in the form of willfully inflicted aversive behavior which is repeated and intrusive.  Bullied students are unable to defend themselves, which is what differentiates it from ‘teasing’.

The effects of bullying last a lifetime with physical, mental and intellectual health affecting the individual, as indicated by a major British study by Professor Louise Arseneault, from the Institute of Psychiatry at King’s College London which was quoted in The Telegraph dated 18 Apr, 2014.

When a child is being bullied, s/he can show many different signs that indicate that bullying is occurring such as unexplainable injuries, frequent headaches or stomach-aches, changes in eating and sleeping habits,  declining grades, loss of interest in school, avoidance of peers, lost or destroyed personal items, low self-esteem, anxiety and depression.  The child may avoid social situations or talk of harming oneself.  These are only a few of the warning signs that indicate that a child is being bullied.

With the growth of the use of social media among students, parents should be aware that cyber bullying is becoming more of a problem.   Cyberbullying is the  use of any electronic device to harass, intimidate, or bully another child. This includes texts, emails, videos, and posts and messages on social media websites.

In her article ‘How Do We Stop Bullying in Schools’  Kara Tamini has emphasized that bullies come from homes where physical punishment is used and children have been taught that physical violence is the way to handle problems and “get their way.”  Bullies usually also come from homes where the parents fight a lot – violence has been modeled for them. Parental involvement often is lacking in bullies’ lives and there seems to be little warmth.  Early intervention and effective discipline and boundaries truly are the best way to stop bullying.

Things parents can do if they believe their child is being bullied:

• Talk calmly to the child and listen to his/her version without interrupting or doubting the child.
• Reassure the child that you want to help and need to know all the details as truthfully as s/he can tell.
• Ensure that the child has taken reasonable precautions for his safety such as avoiding lonely and dark corridors, not taking large sums of money to school and being with a responsible adults or peers at most times.
• Note down the place, date and timings when the episodes occur.  Check if there were witnesses at that time.
• Emphasize that sometimes we cannot solve our problems on our own and may need help.
• Contact the school.   Make an appointment to speak to a school counselor or coordinator. Seek the teacher’s help and cooperation and emphasize the seriousness of the issue.

Schools need to assertively confront this problem and take any instance of bullying seriously. Addressing and preventing bullying requires the participation of all major school constituencies, viz. teachers, parents, counselors and students so that we can reduce the menace of bullying.